Never Too Far
by Anime-Alee
Summary: Alice's soul contract had been fulfilled, and over a year has passed. Yuri's feelings take him to a place he never thought he'd find again, Angsty AlicexYuri


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A/N:** this is my first _Shadow Hearts_ fic, and I couldn't have had the courage to write this if it wasn't for **Puffy Tribulation**, thank you so very much. You also gave me the courage to continue the second game,

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Shadow Hearts, um the publisher does - if I did Alice would've never died! And Karin wouldn't exist. Hahahahha!

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INSPIRATION: **Mariah Carey's **beautiful ode to missing her beloved lover, the song _Never too far_, but also like I said up in A/N it was with the help of **Puffy-chan**.

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SIDE NOTE: This fic is **NOT** for Karin fans, at all. Cause this is strictly a YurixAlice fanfiction, alright? The lyrics from **Never Too Far** clearly explain how Yuri feels about Alice, even in the real game.

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SUMMERY: Yuri's view on Alice, explaining his deep feelings. Karin tires to get him to move on with her! Rated R for curse words and character suicide. But despite the Angst it really is sweet,

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**Never Too Far**

one-shot

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You're so selfless, you know that right? You discarded your very soul away like it was a piece of trash, not even caring about yourself, just think of me. Damn it, I wasn't worth your death Alice. I wasn't worth you throwing your life away, 

You could've had one of your own, have a husband...kids, but-you made a pact with those damned masks. Those bastards, so conniving, they always had it out for me, trying to hurt me where I could be. Those ghouls knew it when you sold your soul, that they didn't have to kill me for me to die.

_I love you_ though, still even when I can't hold you, not capable of feeling the worth of your embrace. I still without a doubt love you,

No one has ever given me anything my whole life, that's why I was so crude all the time. I was afraid of what would happen if I let someone care about down, that was a disappointment I couldn't allow. I was terrified I fail, just like with my mother. She was brutally killed, and I did **nothing**,

For the first time in sixteen years I had actually felt like spilling tears,

Remember our journey through Shanghai? Visiting that old man it the caves, and Dehuai kidnaped you. I was sickened by my own weaknesses, I was passed out as he crept up and snatched you away. As quick and clever as a fox after its prey.

_You're with me  
'Til the bitter end  
What we had transcends  
This experienceToo painful toTalk about  
So I'll hold it in'Til my heart can mend  
And be brave enough to love again_

I was so guilty, I felt like I was a torpid_ bastard._ Zhuzhen and Margarete tried constantly to reassure me that Dehuai wouldn't hurt you, that we would get there in time. I just shrugged it off and headed off to the bar,

Then after we had rescued you huge ton of pressure was lifted from my heart.Being in your presence was as refreshing as a glass of icy water after being stranded in th desertfor daysSo soothing in a sense,

In battle with the old kook was just as stressful, I was so worried over you I could barely keep my focus. Each movement of Dehuai's claws, made me cringe, if he motioned towards you I'd run and block his attacks from harming you, even if it meant using _myself_ as a shield.

After he was finished, and I took it upon myself to fusion my human shell with the god, I felt no hesitation at all. Knowing that if killing my soul would save yours I gladly make the sacrifice,

As I did it, I felt the awful god shredding my flesh from the inside out, my organs expanding with new spacing becoming available. It's mightiness was now dominated by me, barely though. It was a fight that was like balancing on a pendulum. A pain in the ass,

The control I had over the beast in my skin was decreasing with each passing second. I did the only thing I could, I fled with my enormous bat wings. Flying nowhere I had ventured before, colliding with the stone walls of the Blue Castel's dungeon. Finding myself, slowly rotting away in the darkness.

Maybe my choice wasn't right, it was the beginning, it was what construed the ending of your life. Forgive me Alice,

_A place in time Still belongs to us _

_Stays preserved in my mind _

_In the memories there is solace _

_Never too far away _

_I won't let time erase _

_One bit of yesterday _

_Cause I have learned that _

_Nobody can take your place _

_Though we can never be _

_I'll keep you close to me _

Now that the threat of world destruction is over, I have all the time imaginable to reminisce on all the things I've done wrong. All my regrets, all my faults, everything possible. But the thing that breaks my heart the most is...not sharing this peace with **you**.

It's like a burning flame charring my innards in lament. The most horrible, draining emotion that I have ever experienced. Like a ocean of guilt, slowly drowning in it, and soon your soul had been completely devoured by the frigid darkness.

Though you only want me to know happiness, it's not that easy Alice, you expect me to move on without you? To leave my lingering thoughts of you behind while I go and have a family! No, without you...there is no life beyond now. As far as I'm consider, I am just a ghost that died when you were taken.

"_Yuri please don't anguish over my death, I want you to live on and be happy..." _in my dreams at night, I see you, setting beside me. Just as beautiful, just as angelic as I remember. I could even smell your sweet fragrance, oh god how I missed that soothing aroma. _"Yuri please be happy,"_ you cry. Your nearly white blonde hair, paling in the incandescent moonlight.

I only shook my head, "I'm only happy with you baby, only can make me feel." I whispered leaning in to caress your neutral cheek, only to find the image of you no more than misty air, evaporating with my touch.

"_I can't not anymore, I gave my life for your happiness, so you could live without the shadows hunting you down...please don't make that in vain," _Your vague voice echoed through the darkness of my mind. _"I love you, that is why, I am no longer living."_

Such a gorgeous goddess, even in the widths of death. Though you have no warmth, no longer a solid, just a fragment of my memories. Just as I remember, memories that have a fast hold on my heart, never wavering.

People just don't understand, that when you truly lost a beloved, that it is critical to never lose what you had. To never forget the special things that gave you that pure joy, friends say that holding onto the past makes you bitter.

Gepetto is the only one that understands, the only one that even tries. He knows that there is only one sacred love in my life, no one even close to matching. Then there's Karin, she doesn't like the way I talk about Alice. I know she doesn't notice but, I see the jealousy crackling in the depths of her eyes.

Why is it she even tries? I am not worth all her ambitions, I am not even worthy of you...but that doesn't stop me from dreaming, of what could've been. But then there are those other remembrances, when you fell limp on my shoulder, dying from within.

Your innocent soul being foully sucked of it's essences, its wonderful life that made me love you. Ya'know, when I felt you cold form against...I felt tears sting the corners of my eyes, and I really wondered if you knew that I **loved** you, both pysicallyandemotionally.

I prayed for the first time in years, I knelt down to your grave, in the pouring rain. Bitterly clenching my palms together, eyes bloodshot with lack of sleep. I begged god, I begged him with all my will...hoping that he's fulfill my prayer. I wanted him to give me a way to you, no matter what that rode may be.

_When I remember_

_Glittering lights _

_Incandescent eyes _

_Still preserved In my mind _

_In the memories _

_I'll find solace _

_Never too far away _

_I won't let time erase _

_One bit of yesterday _

_And I have learned that _

_Nobody can take your place _

_Though we can never be _

_I'll keep you close to me _

"Yuri?" she called to me, such a persistent woman, does she not understand yet! Turning my dark bloody bolts her way, clashing glazes. I stifled a sleepy groan, laying down on the bed, arms folded behind my head comfortably. "Yuri-can we talk?" Flipping her chrome red ponytail over her shoulder,

Resting down on the unoccupied spot of the mattress, her sharply cut emerald eyes dancing nervously. Glazing her moist tongue over her bottom lips "What is it already?"

"Will keep your promise?" She used very careful choice of words, thinking it through carefully, trying to test me with her mind games of seduction. "That is...to come visit my family with me, since are journey is over"

"Huh?" purposely acting foolish, keeping my gaze on the peach painted ceiling.

"Yuri! I said...weren't you listening!" Her temper becoming more irritable which each move I made.

"I heard ya, I ain't deaf Karin." I snapped, refocusing my gaze away from her.

"Then are you gonna keep your promise? That is what I am asking Yuri!" Smacking her gloved hand down on one of my sore ribs. I choked on the sudden strike and bolted up in a sitting position, knocking her hand away angrily.

"What the hell is your problem, smacking me around like your lap dog!" Hissing in choler, I always got pissed of hen she acted like she was my master, giving orders like she were my _mother_ (**A/N:** Hahaha! Not that unbelievable is it!)

"You're such a arrogant asshole you know that!" Steaming in bitter rage, she backed away and slammed the door. Hearing her curses from the room as she stomped down the stairs, Grumbling again. "Slave driver!"

Resting back down, draping myself in the snug blanketing I felt my consciousness slowly fading away, slumber prevailing. Feeling like I had been swallowed by a hurricane, my body being flung like a paper doll.

Twirling in a spiral of purple haze, lost in translation, as I continued to fall into the dark and unknown. Sinking farther into the depths of the emerging shadows. That is until I felt my body slapped the hard rock molded ground, rubbing my bruised cheek as I observing my surroundings.

It was all too familiar, the same damn pit of hell in my soul I am always sent to. The solemn graveyard, pilled full of tombs of the monsters that I had slain and fused with. An eerie glow around the marking on the stones above the rotting corpse.

"Masks? Jeane? Anyone? Why the hell am I here?" my shrew screams making my pharynx dry and hoarse, coughing desperately as I stood and dusted off the dirt layered on my pants. "Why am I-..."

"_Yuri, please don't distress I am the reason, no one else." _Glimpsing to my left, glowing in a magnificent holy aura was your lovely spirit, trapped in my dark soul. A healing warmth radiating off your ghost,

"Alice, why?" I whispered, my footfalls traveling closer to where the last essences of your remained.

"_A mere question, and your opinion...do you, love that girl?" _Your supple voice becoming sad as you mentioned another woman. _"It's alright if you do, I only wish for you to be,"_

"No! Alice don't think like that, Karin is as friend, you are my beloved...the only one I cherish." I interrupted abruptedly, though I suppose you were relieved I did, I caught that moment your vivacious lips curved in for a cheerful smile, just as you use to.

"_You'll never change your mind will you, my stubborn Yuri."_

"You bet baby, you're the only girl for me." I felt remorseful as those words slipped from my chattering mouth. Earning a weak expression from you, we both knew that I couldn't really be with a ghost.

"_You say that, as if...I was alive,_ _and as much as I would love to be, and take that place on your arm I-just, I can't Yuri!" _Your gems bubbling with what looked to be tears, falling individually, vaporizing before pattering on the surface. _"You can't go through life waiting around for me to somehow resurrect from the dead, and even if that were, those masks, they have a binding on my soul. I can never be, so don't deprive yourself of love and living on my account," _

"You obviously are confuse, babe, I am -believe me when I say this- an empty shell without your touch, without your voice, without_ you_. I might as well be here alongside you, forever curse to be here."

Your fragile doll face gleaming brightly _"I suppose, your cannot be persuaded. But, I am overjoyed you love me that much, it's a feeling unlike any other."_

"Hold on baby, I'm commin' to ya." Launching at your wavering spirit, embracing it with all my love and affection, waiting to be stolen from my wasted skin. "Forever, we'll be together." embodied in a endless stream of warm holy light,

I felt as spiritual tare, unable to be put to words besides that. My life had vanished in my request, being held protectively by the ghost of my lover. Her eyes blinded with happiness as she cuddled her head to my nape, whispering her thankful words warmly _"thank you my love." _

"No sweat Alice, anything for my woman." I whispered back, stroking the softness of her hair in my palm. Knowing I had everything I needed to go on, her tender embrace. We both fell silent, and thanked all of time we had each other again.

_And I'll remember _

_A place in time _

_Still belongs to us _

_Stays preserved in my mind _

_In the memories there is solace _

_Never too far away _

_I won't let time erase _

_One bit of yesterday _

_Cause I have learned that _

_Nobody can take your place _

_And though we can never be _

_I'll always think of you and me _

_Always remember _

_Love You're never too far _

**The End...**

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A/N:** This was inspired by the good ending of_ Shadow Hearts: Covenant_. Thank the creator for such an ending, well they should have made this the out come after all, they did let Alice slip away on the first and left us cliffhagered off that bull.

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Thanks again:

**Puffy Tribulation-** I give all my thanks to this girl right here. If it weren't for her I would've had the courage to go on and continue the second game, I was shattered when I learned of Alice's death in the first. It haunted me and drove a wedge between me and the sequel and any hopes for writing a fanfiction. Thank you so much, so this was dedicated to you Puffy-chan. - thanks...

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